... so, there was this meeting with katie today... T_T omfg i miss her so much!!! ... we took buddy the place where we meet is only half way down town so its not like it was FOREVER to get there........ but i was waiting outside with buddy cause they don't let dogs in..... and since i woke up this morning i was thinking about last time we went and saw her.... and that was at the hospital ..... and how i started crying when she left....... and just thinking about that day........ T_T .... and it got me sad.... and made me really miss her.......... and so when i was waiting outside i was just trying to hard not to cry...... and then all the sudden she jumps out the door...... and starts petting buddy and is all happy and excited to see him and everyone.... and i broke into tears... ... and kate looked up at me and is like..... why are you crying?! ... and i was thinking....... damn it i'm such an idiot..... omfg why do i have to start crying right now! STOP IT!!! ....... and kate just gave me a huge hug...... and is like whats wrong......? ...... and i was just like ........ ... _{i miss you...} ... and shes just like oh.... don't cry!!! ... oh i'm going to start!!! stop crying....... and we all talk for a sec...... and then i put buddy back in the car with the window cracked and a bowl of water with him....... and go back inside..... and i'm still crying my eyes out..... i mean i'm not "whining" but i basically covored my face with one hand to try to hide it..... and everyone looks at me....... and are all like WTFs going on? ....... and i just sit and talk to k for a sec..... but then she has to go to the meeting room with mom dad her therapist, and some other girl..... but anyway.... so k was like i have to go..... and gave me another hug...

(btw we got there at 1) .... it took me forever to stop crying..... everyone is like there is a bathroom right there if you need a minute.... or want to fix your makeup....... and finally at about 2:00 i stopped crying...... didn't bother fixing my makeup, for some reason it didn't look like i was crying anyway! ^^" so i didn't really need to!

tanner called me a little after 2.... and said he was on his way........ he got there about 2:25 ... and kate came out a min later...... and i almost started crying again.... but NO!!! i was not going to....... and went out to the car..... got some of her stuff that i brought....... gave it to her, gave her another hug........ kate went to give her foster mom her stuff (i think) and i was standing there, waiting and dad says hey you been crying? .... and that just ticked me off...... so i stomped to tanners car..... i wanted to stay with kate... but i hated mom and dad being there..... tanner came over to the car..... but i had to say bye to kate at least one more time.... so i went back over..... and she was talking to jack..... so i waited till she was done....... got one last hug from her and then left with tanner.........

we went to the mall to look for a present for his moms b-day... got her this beautiful, cross, and then went to wal-mart, and got a chain...

then we went to his grandparents house and hung out from like 45 min...... then went to sonic .... and hung out from maybe 45 min and then went home...... and here i am typing this journal......... T_T ........ i wish i could set my mood to every sad and stupid face there is....... damn i'm so stupid! ..... i'm such a fucking bitch! ...... i shouldn't be getting all sad, and upset over the situation! ....... i can't fix it i can't change it!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........

..... sorry peoples! ^^"

anyway sis Ali is coming for thanksgiving, and bringing her BF and two kids with her! can't wait to see them...... i am going to be doing alot of baking the day before so we have plenty baked goods! and also OMFG kate is 99% sure going to come home for thanksgiving!!!

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